drinking colt 45 because lando calrissian told me to
I thought smoking would make her look better, but all it did was enlighten me to her snaggletooth
Sounds like a blessing in disguise
he said i'm too pretty to suck penis
Do u kno any dealers?
I've officially lost all respect for you, dad.
He said he had to make up a lie of why he couldnt sleep with her. It must really suck to have a sunburned dick.
I'd say this is worse than that time when I realized that my favorite bath toy growing up was my Mom's douche bottle.
She should get an extra 30 days for that Georgia Rule movie......terrible.
nope im down the street in my car watching the front of her house. its actually less creepy than it sounds
Sometimes I send them texts like "I want to make you cry and lick up your tears" just to fuck with them. And THAT is how you get rid of a Stage 5 clinger.
He just fingered me to the Lion King soundtrack. And when he left he turned dramatically and said "I'll be back after work. Be prepared." Taint ALL the childhood memories.
Dave used his AAA card to get my car towed to my house so I could get drunk. Evil genius.
He gave me a script of norcos and touched my balls so overall it's been a good day.
Was just told that I slept on the counter using a loaf of bread as a pillow. Clearly my life is going well.
Bro. I traded my coat. I have a Raiders coat now.
They call you PBJ boy because you were trying to seduce me with pieces of a peanut butter and jelly sandwich. Successfully might I add.
Randomize