so i woke up this morning thinking _____ was in bed with me. . .but it was only a half eaten sonic burger
Just found a shot glass and plan b in my backpack...
Im guessing the shot glass is for plan c?
I'm going to start giving girls scratch off lottery tickets when they leave my place in the am. That way they have a chance of not regretting the night before
You brought out the iron board layed it on the ground in the middle of everyone and passed out for the night
The drunken tricycle race really added some class to the Tour de Franzia. Until everyone wiped out and started puking.
i just got drunk dialed and its 10am. clearly finals are over.
Wat the fuck dude ketchup in my bong???
Sorry I never got back to you, I ended up at a party with pot ice cream, pot apple cider, and hash vegetable oil.
So he ended up throwing a watermelon that he stole from the cafeteria saying "if i cant have it no one can" of the 5th floor.
My new best friend is the drag queen who works at mcdonalds and doesnt judge me during my walk of shame coffee break
Btw I'm currently writing a paper in a beer garden. Be proud.
You went to a drug deal in a onesie.
just pleasured myself to USA hockey beating Russia in the shoot out. god bless America.
You tipped the Uber driver extra for taking your phone away while you were drunk texting
Last night I crashed my housemates tinderdate, smoked his weed and then left. He felt too awkward to say no.#Empowerment
Randomize
