thanks for house sitting, cat must be hiding again... everything go ok?
... about that ...
quick i need to know how implid consent works for golf carts
too late i think im gettin a gcui
I only gave you my number because I thought fat people were jolly
all i need in life is blowjobs and white cheddar cheezits
I only want to screw him when I'm drunk. Problem is I try to be drunk as often as possible
how do i say "thank you for the blowjob, but never talk to me again" without crushing her?
Seius question. Does a penis floar when ina baht? Must find out.
MASS TEXT: who ever dared Todd to suck on the Clorox wipes last night.. good goin jackass. you can come visit him, hes in room 266, AFTER hes done getting his stomach pumped.
HE DARED ME TO DARE HIM... DONT PUT THAT ON ME.
yea last night was a repeat of newyears...exept this time it ivolved a fish costume, throw up, a hole in the roof, and cops...lots of cops
Attempting to sleep without a bra since i got my nips pierced wish me luck. Also almost sent that to my coworker.
And then I told him since the day he walked away to get over what I went through he lost the boyfriend right to ask why my bed is broken.
I take full pride in being the one that broke ur bed. Want to go for the sofa?
He offered to let her do a line of coke off his hard-on. She said she'd had that hard-on and it would be a bump, not a line. Everyone laughed. That's why he left.
So that answers the first question but not the second: how the fuck am I getting home?
Beer and Reeses. dinner of champions
You know you're high when you find yourself sitting on the floor with the refrigerator door open, talking to various foods. Hand gestures and all.
Good, but still not as good as the guy I banged in the ball crawl
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