wat bout pragnant strippers??
Confirm your location. A cross street is best, but if google mapping yourself is your least-shameful option go for it. ps- going through his mail for an actual address is always an option.
do people really wait til 5 oclock to start drinking in real life?
doing lines of blow through a tampon applicator in the study lounge at 7am so i can finish an italian composition that was due a week and a half ago...such a good student.
Im beginning to think that if I ever write an autobiography it will have to be mostly fill in the blank.
the beer staff turned into a beer spear way to quickly
I just looked at the guy in the car next to me and he was wearing a divers mask. We just nodded cause we both understood.
Side note: THE ORIGINAL LION KING IS COMING THE MOVIES AGAIN--3D STYLE. We need to find shrooms.
in my defense, he kept drinking all of my water.
he had diabetes and you told him to stop being a pansy!
I have mastered the 3 minute room cleaning drill in preparation for the nights possible slam-piece
brushed my teeth nine times since getting home, still afraid there are pubes hiding in between my molars. fucking gummy bears
Times have changed. Freshman year I could throw my shirt in a bonfire and still get laid. Now when I puke in my girlfriend's bed on her birthday I'm "an asshole"
I don't think I'm gonna survive today. I don't remember how to walk. I must crawl 6 blocks to my bed.
So basically he is jobless, a potential serial killer, and has poor taste in music? We simply don't have time for that.
How do I word.. " hey, I need you to fuck me really hard and see if you or I can feel my birth control. No worries, this is just an experiment." In a nice way without them feeling used.
Randomize
