I drowning out her crying with songs from the Beatles it's good for us both. She relives her 30s and i dont have to hear her cry
his blackberry tasks were 1. take names and 2. kick ass
i think of them as a grilled chicken salad and a fried chicken biscuit. obviously Amy is better for me, but when i'm eating her all i can think about is how much better the blonde must taste.
no they seem fine, they're doing push ups and waiting for a charging toy helicopter
I am moving slowly w him. I havent even masturbated to him yet.
We played shuffleboard at the bar last night...another sign we are getting tooooo old.
I left two shots of jager for you guys when you wake up from your death. Do with it as you wish
Yeah, I think they knew. I smelled like that telltale combination of strippers and Easter.
When they say "all expenses paid" does that include bail?
I will be going to walgreens soon.. nothing says trainwreck like pickin up a scrip for xanax at 2am drunk..
There was a huge crash. I came out of my room to find you sprawled out at the bottom of the stairs in your bra and panties. You looked at me, yelled 'WHAT AM I DOING WITH MY LIFE' and then ran back into his room.
He sent me nudes and then a text asking if I tried the new Cantina Bowl from Taco Bell. He sure does romance right, doesn't he?
Like how hard is it to come up to me with chocolate and wine and say "hey, you're beautiful. Wanna marathon Doctor Who in sweatpants?" Hell yes!
omg so there's this guy on the roof and he just stripped for no reason and now i think he's making out on the rooftop with some other guy? who are these people
He could only go see Deadpool without his girl if he was black-out drunk... because spoilers. They're the perfect couple.
Randomize
