Having your wife answer your cell was so lame. Maybe we can talk when you get your phone, your facebook account, and your balls back.
its raining. im dressed as yoda and im trick or treating alone. and i wonder why im still a virgin..
he has been on a 2 week bender, has been homeless for a week and a half, and leaves for madagascar in 2 days. Do we worry or is that normal?
I give you the lube, you make me the mac and cheese, that's a pretty fair deal I think.
Its name is Richard. And I think he formally introduced us.
Whatever. I'm just trying to get my dick sucked while taking online harmonica lessons
apparently putting your t-shirt on your head with a bottle of captain and telling girls your the pirate king of tallahassee doesn't work
I actively tried geting in the guy's pants and ended up in the girl's. I'm bad at this whole straight while drunk thing.
You may now shotgun with the bride
We're shaving superhero symbols into our pubes. I call dibs on Batman.
Sup man, did you have a 3way this month if so it would be 3 for 3 for the house
Some dude with an OSU jersey just kissed him in the face in front of everyone. I should mention he's wearing a Panda costume. And has already been offered $20 for his suit by Plushies for oral sex.
I showed him my machete and then we made out in the kitchen
You're moving up the public shitting ladder
oh what is to come when my single life starts with a threesome?
Randomize
