What are you talking about? And how drunk are you?
Both
just scratched off #34 on my list of things to do before age 30 - drunk in a helicopter.
I farted on Jack's balls last night. He got pissed and walked away cause he knew it was on purpose. I couldn't hold it in anymore.
It makes me feel uncomfortable and unsafe when he licks my pants
at one point last night, you were literally auctioning me off. "reeeally drunk hot girl ! we'll start the bidding at an ice cold corona. oh, we have a bidder! do i hear a shot of whiskey? going once, going twice.."
youre welcome
so not only am i rooming with two chicks on the volleyball team, but we just put down the deposit on a hot tub. this is going to be the best summer ever for my dick.
Just went through campus. In the span of 2 min I saw 4 places I've had sex. And thats just down one street. Man do I miss college.
I'm not taking advise from someone who responded to the pickup line "I have a penis"
I've come to the conclusion that the dicks in Arizona just don't have enough size for me.
my dad has now seen 6 different dudes grab my ass. i guess i should start a list.
He was respectful of both me and my One Direction calendar.
Literally if she wants to make a big deal, I'd rather have shit smeared on my face.
she's fucked both of my roommates but not me. i feel like I'm not part of the group anymore
I have an empty apartment, Chinese food, and fresh batteries in my vibrator. There's nothing on this earth that could lure me out tonight.
Ha. Yeah that's all I found you with this morning. Butt ass naked w my robe across your lap and your arms thrown back in handcuff position.
Randomize
