I dont remember anything after Tequila & Apple Juice. May have disovered the recipe for mental bleach.
he pushed my hair back because he said it made me look like kelly kapowski and he told me to call him zach
last night he was wasted watching Entourage and changed everyone in his phone book to LLOYD!!!!
I am at a striph cluv. They are ovealls everywhere. I have hot rock botto.
Sometimes I wish I could peel his face off and use it to take all the money out of his account.
i mean he wasn't bad looking, but i wouldn't have slept with my professor if i knew everyone would get an A
Ugh. my cast still smells like fermenting hot tub water and bad decisions.
You should never talk to him again. Unless its you knocking on the door and punching his dick.
At one point he was so drunk he was carrying around a bottle of patron drinking out of it and falling everywhere and every time he spilled it he would scream "THERE GOES TWENTY DOLLARS."
I got to see some gay bartender let a girl with daddy issues whip Travis in the balls with his own belt. Totally worth it.
Happy Birthday. May your liver respect you, fat bitches neglect you, hangovers reject you, and AA accept you.
Just participated in the saddest thing: Cheetos. Handjob. I have lost at life
And I wasn't CONVICTED of a felony, I just committed one
im drinking out of a pineapple, so yea.
I need to go home for the safety of everyone in a 10 mile radius, especially me
Randomize
