I just woke up and realized I puked in my boxers WTF.
You stay classy.
The worst part was I forgot until I tried to put them on.
we both passed out while playing beer pong, woke up in the morning and continued to play coffee pong to cure our hangovers
let's have our labels/stereotypes/careers for each kid by next week.
oh how i love working at summer camp.
okay serious question, the water is shut off in your house, do you attempt and use the clean toilet water for your new bong?
we just toasted to your mouth on alex's balls at the bar
all you kept yelling was "i'm bored and i'm sober"
Lemme guess, I was the one completely shit faced making out with the 50 year old...
LOL, wrong number bro. Good luck trying to figure out what happened though..
I've watched enough of my roommate's imported Japanese satellite to know when the exchange students are calling me a whore.
She said " I'm going to get her back one day soon for putting extacy in my pop while I drove her to whislter" just a heads up.
Do you think I could convince a doctor that my uterus is poisoning me? It wouldn't technically be a lie. It does more harm than good.
Just told my mom I need money for Molly. She was not happy
I think my favorite day of the week is the day we get to fuck
I thought since you asked to see my dick I might as well say hi
I guess you never know how much of an impact you have on someone until you sleep with their cousin
I'm at the fucking ritz Carlton and I would leave here to cuddle with her. Not even fuck, just cuddle. What th hell is wrong with me?
I think it's called love, bro
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