I dont get it-she has sex with me but wont be my facebook friend?
he is a creepy guy.
yea thats what heroine does to ppl.
I love how all these freshman girls think that they can wear what they wore last summer... freshman 15 at its skankiest
He kissed my cheek and I could smell it the whole way home like shit
he's from indiana, of course he's clueless about "g-spots"
I was carrying him baywatch style into my place because he passed out.
I'm tangled in a fishing net down at the harbor. This has nothing to do with Captain Morgan. Bring wirecutters.
Just had a memory of you pretending to be a begging dog putting your head on my lap while I fed you. Great night to try a new drug.
I made a list on my phone of places I want to fuck, it's right under my list of groceries I'm getting a little too used to regular sex but dude monogamy is the shit
Yeah that doesn't involve enough booze, count me out
Paige is home safe.
Actually, she's here now, punching me in the face. You should've kept her keys.
Possibly threw up in my purse last night. Still suspicious of of all actions
I don't even have his number. I have his pants tho
My mom just walked in on me naked taking a shit and packing a bowl...the only comment she makes is, she wants her Tupperware back after my pot's out of it. Best mom ever.
the roommate is literally cooking green eggs n ham, and I'm too hungover to see straight. Dr Seuss nightmare.
Randomize
