he was so hot that i framed the used condom. it's not trash, it's art.
I wish there was a hungover fairy to brush my teeth and bring me a diet coke.
I just woke up to people screaming "funnel" in my kitchen....
Happy St. Patrick's Day.
How was the bike ride?
Nope. High in the basement. Fruit cups.
that would be two times in a week with two different guys.
they have the same name so it only counts as one guy right?
Ok, so for future reference, in Rome, "piano bar" means "brothel".
He stole all of his parent's vodka WHILE they were in the room, and then opened the window and snuck out. I was watching from my truck
I am too high to deal with coming home to 11 naked people in my living room
yeah, never be friends with someone with shitty eyebrows.. they obviously already make poor life choices
So I just noticed that my last drunk google search before going to bed last night was "ghosts based on gays." I have no idea what that's supposed to mean
You have not lived until you've had your brains fucked out on a broken down Tunnel of Love ride. Life is good.
tuscaloosa is terrifying
like people here are just empty shells of drugs and sin
there is no mercy here
Was so high at one point last night that while showering I was worried that using too much hot water would slow down our Internet.
It's official: I now only own one pair of jeans that I haven't blown the crotch out of. It might be time to put a stop to red wine Wednesdays.
You mean, in addition to red wine every-fucking-days?
Will u make me a "6 month anniversary of being single" cake??? I wanna celebrate
Randomize
