Here's my recipe for happiness. Go get a pen. 1. smoke a bowl 2. put on explosions in the sky 3. take a bath. Do this for about 1 hour or until all your problems go away.
so whats your words to drink to for the state of the union? mine are 'change' 'fight' and 'you know'.
mine is 'the'.
i really care about you, respect you, another gay word, and another gay word... lets just drink
all i care about is the story behind my toaster ending up in the microwave
You showed up at my apartment after 3 am wasted with a plate of cookies and tried to hook up.
Sorry about that. Except for the cookies.
Did you pour a hundred fucking pounds of sand in my car last night?
lol... you weighed it?
In college, I had one standard. Penis. A lot has changed since then. Now I really only have one standard. Breathing.
Excellent idea. Nothing says "congrats for resurrecting yourself, Jesus" like Greygoose at noon!
No. I'm laying on the floor naked. I almost made it to the shower
This could be the definition of living by yourself
I guess? According to Jeff his mom is wondering when the grand babies will arrive. So I don't think they like ME so much as my supposed functioning uterus
Is it just me or does the sex still keep getting better? I wasn't crying, my eyes just watered from how hard I was cumming.
We are finally out of the honeymoon stage of the relationship because it turns out that you can't come back from peeing on me in your sleep.
I said that I'm avoiding parties and guys, and the freshman girl just laughed
If my bootycall doesn't bring over a Baconnator, I swear to fucking God, I'm not letting him in. The hunger is that real. Forget his Persian dick.
I feel like I should send her I'm sorry I've been fucking your boyfriend flowers.
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