i'm sure there's a big cosmic reason for things working out the way they did. like, now you have awesome images to masturbate to.
if all i could do was poop and smoke weed, i'd be eternally happy
amen to that sister
He made sure to throw up on the Mexico side of the border while we were in line at the check point. Then finished by screaming you an have it back. You can have it all back.
went for icecream. accidentally deepthroated it. my mom gave me a dirty look, but the kid behind the counter looked impressed
If for any reason you were wondering if i was going to vomit at the airport today, the answer is yes.
I was ready to fuck him until he pulled the "I might be bi curious" card. Now its turned into a guilt fuck. It's like he's a 3rd world child in need of a sexual orientation.
it would be cheaper just to buy a dildo to intimidate people with.
For the amount of money I just spent on my dogs toe, I could have fucked the entire B squad at a low end strip club.
I just rolled an Obama blunt and a Romney shame joint for tonight. Vote wisely.
Her dog trainer Fuck buddy is over here again. She sounds like a squeaky toy and he talks to her like he talks to the dog. I CAN HEAR EVERYTHING!!!
Yes, let me tell you about the time I was forcibly locked in a bathroom when my ex-girlfriend was having a bad shroom trip.
High-fiving last weekend's hook up in passing on the way to class has given me quite the lady boner.
Why do guys insist on chatting me up this early in the morning? I'm just like "Dude, I look like the bastard child of Einstein and a troll doll. Let me eat my Hot Pocket in peace."
You haven't lived until you've thrown up naked in a hotel room in Fargo while holding your breasts so they don't touch the toilet bowl.
Can I make sure all my sluttiness goes to you when I die? You're the only person I know who'll make use of it
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