this girl just gave me her phone number and 5 mins later right in front of me she is giving her number to another dude
call her and ask her what she thinks she's doing
how do u look a man in the eye when u own both his daughters V-Cards?
I'm buying a chandelier at walmart. WHO'S CLASSY NOW, BITCHES.
You should probably just propose to him the old fashioned way: sleep with him and get pregnant.
he just asked me to email him a handle of captain morgans...how sober do you think he is?
I just dont understand why you didnt cut me off when I took the funnel into the bathroom and started peeing and funneling at the same time
Some days you just pee in a stairwell and go home.
Client visitor days are the worst. If I have to wear a tie and can be hungover at least have the decency to find some more attractive visitors
I'll be home soonish I need 4th of July sex, it's the American thing to do.
He compared my ass to "a 13 year old track star's ass." Umm WTF? Is that supposed to be a compliment? And when I questioned boy or girl he said "either."
I'm too high and old for this...
Is Facebook telling the truth about your nipples?!
I mean, I already hooked up with her boyfriend. The least I can do is accept her facebook friend request.
Ill try not let guys feel my boobs for free drinks next time, no promises tho. I am my boyfriends worst nightmare.
Is there a sexuality term for 'only wants hatefucks'?
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