I am pretty sure he just licked my hand while trying to sing goo goo dolls iris to me. Get me out of this state.
We got so high yesterday we tried watching soccer
And you kept hanging up and calling back because you thought I wasn't greeting you properly.
He's stoned as shit, eating breakfast cereal and taking a dump. All while listening to dubstep. We may never understand him.
The fact that every guy you've slept with since you've lost virginty either have the same first or last name isn't normal.
Its fiiine, tuesday is like the thursday of wine wednesday. And i mean, free beer for girls at the grove...im not NOT gonna take that offer up!
Look at your life. Look at your choices.
BTW the amount of schmoozing I am doing towards some guy for an ID that may or may not look like you... You better love me.
Serious question: when you had my right nipple in your mouth, did my nipple ring have both of the balls on it, or was it missing one. Current situation: missing one.
My mom just asked me if I can obtain a fake ID by thursday
Why is there a cash register on top of my car?
I'm in the smoking section between a transvestite molly dealer and a group of juggalos. I shouldn't be that hard to find.
We probably shouldn't have humped each other in a stairwell for an hour. that was probably my bad
New low: eating a buttered roll while taking a shit.
This is why we're soulmates.
You know you're high when you find yourself sitting on the floor with the refrigerator door open, talking to various foods. Hand gestures and all.
I can't be sure but I think I slept with a clown last night...
Randomize
