i wish swine flu would become a total pandemic so we cld be rid of all the people that are complaining about it
ask if his dick looks like a sausage. alex's bro told me that's a sure sign. btw took pain pills. maybe shouldn't listen to me.
good call on bringing her. it's always good to invite chicks who mix booze and prescription drugs.
you turned on the Care Bears movie at 5am and kept screaming "I CARE"
if i remember New Year's Eve then there is something seriously wrong.
All we had was a keg so we played edward nalgene-hands
I woke up next to her will a oven mit taped to my cock. Dear god, I might have tried to use it as a condom.
Wearing the flip cup varsity team sweatshirt was the best descision of my life.
Ummm didn't i have pubes when i went to bed last night?
the last thing i remember was the norwegian kid tacking a bag of wine to the ceiling, then boom! shower drain.
Guess what I'm doing tonight? Tacos and strip chess.
In the ER with Chelz, I may have broken her ankle during sex. Lovely.
I thought we agreed to no sexting at the school bake sale...
He stole one of my good bras again. If I'm not getting laid I'm not putting with this shit. Also it's a walk of shame for you today, my car is suicidal again.
What happened to your back?
Rug burn. My ass is even worse.
Randomize
