I want the hot one, scratch that. anyone.
genius idea. im gonna paint my penis green like the serpent of sex
I am waking up at 7am to go to church with him and his family... I better get eaten out tonight.
we had a 10 minute conversation with his family about how I don't let him eat me out. I want to go home
Sonogram pictures belong on a fucking fridge...NOT FACEBOOK!!
He took the lighter and said "this is how I give myself a bikini wax."
I'm in class. I'm not opening a page with the words "death erection" in the link. There's people behind me lol.
Did i actually sleep there? Or did i just get sand everywhere?
there is a money trail leading from my bathroom to my living room.. the trail ends with a half eaten bag of chips with a note that says "magical chipz".. who am i?
it wasnt a pity fuck per say. i wasnt attracted to her, but still thought 'that looks like a fun ride'
He passed out in the car on the way to the party. Seabiscuit tripped before the race even started....Lil bitch....
I'm having post-experience "why didn't I fuck her in a public bathroom" regrets
I feel like the dump I just dropped is the most successful thing I've done so far today.
he's so hot I'd consider breaking the whole, "till death do us part," agreement he's currently in
He lasted less than 30 sec. in bed and then sent me a friend request on LinkedIn. Wtf.
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