I saw him at work today and he gave me a really awkward "I know what you do drunk" look...
He left with a pair of dress shoes, some goggles, and a shot glass. I think we should follow him.
You should know me better than that. I don't whore around. I promise this is a blowjobs only kind of trip.
you were sat in the corner crying until someone gave you a baguette, which you then tried to feed to the duck doorstop.
I regret nothing
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just sold some kid a bong I made out of a vuvuzela for $50. I think I found my career path.
He said I was almost as good as the wheel chair sex he had the night before. Apparently I just cant compete with 4 wheels
He said you stopped mid-fuck, called fives on his dick, walked out to grab another drink, and came back.
I JUST ATE A STRANGE BURRITO, I SHOULD NOT BE EXPECTED TO KNOW ANYTHING RIGHT NOW.
I started blowing him in North Dakota, and I finished the job in Minnesota. Oh, the places road head can take you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If you can get her to make out with you without paying for it, I will personally make you president of the american lesbian league
Would I waste your time for mediocre porn?
No he's here. We were watching Harry Potter stoned as shit and he fell asleep with his head in my lap. I'll figure out what to do with him after Harry gives Dobby the sock.
Getting "I couldn't find the front door so I climbed in through window" drunk seems to be a habit of yours
I don't know about this Sanders guy after all. I'm voting for MYSTERY BABYLON, WHORE OF ALL THE EARTH
Hillary?
You told me I got kicked out of the bar for lipping off to the bouncers... what shocked me the most was that I made it to the bar
Randomize