can "i'm close!" be our safe word(s)?
oh geez, wrong person.
Guess who is high enough to buy Jingle All The Way?
His room was full of guns. It was like having sex with Clint Eastwood.
at 6am he came into my room and kicked me in the stomach. when i finally got up he was passed out in my hallway and the bathtub water was running
Woke up with his dick on the side of my face, it's like he passed out mid-mushroom stamp.
the welcome home hickey he left on my boob is really gunna put a damper on the rest of my thanksgiving hook up plans with the rest of my ex's
He was all like, "I've prayed every single day just for one more night with you."
Omg just give him a quick handy and walk out.
I've been drunk in my life. But I've never been "crying in 5 Guys at 1 in the afternoon" drunk
Driving a mountain pass in the middle of a blizzard with the worst vodka gummybear hangover ever is gods way of telling me to keep the black-outing within a 15 mile radius to my house.
I like to get drunk just like anyone else but not to the point of sticking a rubber tube up my asshole
Is the party worth it?
I am drink. Beer pony and singing.
you guys have a strange definition of the word fun. I would have said dangerous, terrifying, or life-threatening. of course, bowling can now be described the same way.
I WOLD FCUK YUO INTOO THE MOON
THE MOOOOOOOON
I HATE HIM SO MUCH I HOPE HE GETS IN SOME WEIRD ACCIDENT WHICH MAKES IT IMPOSSIBLE FOR HIM TO NUT
Omg I joined a choir last night...
Randomize
