it wasn't lemon gatorade
This girl is more easily done than said...
how much do you want to bet that her wedding invites will be vera bradley themed? loser has to frame theirs.
You all can go fuck yourselves. As far as I'm concerned, don't come back to karaoke.
Had a couple pieces of pizza for breakfast...suck on that Jamie Oliver.
Just woke up with three stitches in my left boob. Nevertheless, I think I'm going to like this school.
Blood. All over. Pre coke adventure needs to slow down unless I'm involved
Grandma is giving me marriage advice again. On the plus side, she thinks I'm straight now.
I decided staying home, watching porn and masterbating was a much better choice than the gym. And I was right.
Handcuffed our DD to a naked stripper don't think he will try to sneak out
He can pick locks you know
That's the reason for the naked stripper
I don't know if your celebrity crush has ever asked you for nudes, but it's fucking awesome
i don't know what body building stuff he's on, but his cum is basically a 5 hour energy shot.
You can't Tinder AND have him bring you icecream in the same night. It messes with your vagina.
Glass of stolen champagne in a to go cup = tastiest hangover cure ever
You had sex with a Scottish dude with a peg leg....how could I NOT tell that story??
Randomize
