i have now learned nap means the same thing as sex in college
Sam from lord of the rings is 10 yards away from me, i am creaming myself.
i woke up naked with 27 half ripped $ bills in my bed from ripping them off the wall of the bar
She guessed my name 9 times, and 5 of those times she guessed Mike. Figured that'd be an easy target for the night.
Nothing quite says America like barbecue and beer at 9 in the morning.
she walked in on me snorting my prozac. there was no way to convince her i was doing a good thing.
I've been practicing for you. Including stockpiling medical supplies for curing hangovers.
im pretty sure your bra is in my room hanging on my shark pinata
We have a hundred jello shots. Lines will be crossed.
All three of them were helicoptering their dicks to persuade me to take my thong off
i am willing to donate my body to this science experiment when it means free blowjobs
Like, I can't stand that bitch, but i genuinely hope she gets the help she needs
My hangover didn't kick in until like 4pm so I found myself puking in the middle of Times Square. During rush hour. In a three piece suit. A spongebob came by and patted me on the back.
so evidently blowing a guy does not mean he will say hi to you when he sees you in class.. in case you're ever wondering
You ran full speed into the glass door with your Patron and yelled "FEEL THE RHYTHM, FEEL THE RHYME"
Randomize
