HAH. HARRY POTTER CASUAL CONVO HAS BEEN EXTENDED TO DISCUSSING WEATHER. SO PRO
i told you the emergency thong was a good idea.
I don't want the last thing I hear while alive to be Jesse's Girl
If i pass out for a while at graduation, please atleast TRY to wake me?
I just found a video on my phone from last night of you yelling, "you can't fuck me!" at least 20 times
Don't upload the drink o meter to your google calendar. Somehow binge drinking looks even worse with a time stamp.
Reading my bank statement stoned makes me feel like an adult.
Just threw up. It looks like I may have swallowed a cigarette.
I told her shower beers are even better when you have someone in there with you and she said she's been looking for a new drinking buddy. It's a goooooo
Dude. Where are you? There's a hot chick drunkenly dancing on the bar and aggressively taking shots to Pink songs. She looks like she needs a rebound. Get. Here. Now.
FUCK NYC TRAFFIC.
The laundromat is nothing like In the pornos
I mean you can one up her. Instead of ruining friendships you can ruin marriages.
Idk if I should be worried or amused that my autocorrect changes the word STD to DTF.
I just woke up butt-naked in bed with a guy I've never seen..I reached into my bag next to the bed to get my phone and found a bag of shrooms, a handle of vodka, and 600 dollars that I've never seen. what do I do
enjoy it.
Its one thing to reject me, but to reject me AND my hottest friend AT THE SAME TIME!?!?
Randomize
