we got sick of 7 11 doubles so we made up a game where you just drink when anyone rolls a 5
thats barely a game just flip a coin
should we drink on heads or tails?
Is it sad that I'm on the stopduiaz.com website and there is a cute boy but it will never work between us because hes in jail for 17.5 years?
Um.. is it mean if I say yes?
How would my first penpal letter even go? "Hey saw you on stopduiaz.com, sucks you killed that motorcyclist. Whats your favorite thing to do on the weekend?"
the girl i fucked last night woke up this morning, disoriented and looked at me, and said "oh, you're hot." and went back to sleep.
Weird shit dude, I just realized that the girl I fucked last night looks like Shaun White's twin sister. I dunno if I should be scared or turned on
I hope her Double McTwist was as good as his
...just for future reference, one Four Loko can fits PERFECTLY in a venti iced coffee cup from Starbucks
I had a nursing patient tell me that her favorite drink was vodka and ensure...called it a colorado bulldog
I thought he was joking about the hundred beer challenge until two guys showed up with a camera and boom mic. This cabin party is going to be fucked
He's acting like I should like him more than vodka and Taco Bell, but I just don't ser that happening.
As your attorney I advise you to rage rapidly
Dude, she doesn't even live here... She just can't eat all our food and masturbate on my dog's couch...
My mother just made an innapropriate gesture with a cucumber while grocery shopping at whole foods... Then she said "bitches love cucumbers" and all this time i thought i was adopted
Deciding whether to take my sex toys home for Christmas will be the biggest decision I make this holiday season
I was drunk and on Craigslist.. The drunk-text offers people got must have been either horrifying or glorious
you thought the best thing to say to him was "you aint no fuckin cop"
He sounds like Chris Tucker and wants to eat me out when I’m on my period. If that isn’t love I don’t know what is.
Randomize
