He ignores my calls like im some kind of stalker chick
Ive only called 5 times
saw my dad's penis on the x-ray last night. at least his hip wasn't broken
going to class early so i have time to go on the moonbounce. this is why i go to art school.
he actually used the line "do you have a map, because i'm lost in your eyes" and i was to drunk to care
surprisingly enough, it isn't that uncomfortable to have sex with a heart monitor on
You should offer shots at parent teacher conferences..I bet more ppl come
and you stopped teaching...why?
I'm basically a mama hen. I keep them warm and let them wonder around the house. not to mention, I keep eye on them just in case the falcons around the house try to snatch them away.
I don't even know what to say right now
These pissing matches have to stop. They led to last night's scotch through the nose shots. I'll never smell again.
There is not enough soap in the world to make me feel clean after last night. Im gonna need jesus for this one
I'm just sayin. If your gonna cheat go for someone TOTALLY different. Fucking her twin would be a waste.
I am not a slut. I'm just very open with how much I love to have sex. Stop judging.
My entire news feed is ice bucket challenges. I wish there was a hide from feed button like FarmVille
It's 5AM and I just stirred weed butter into ramen noodles. This is not where I expected to be at 30. ...But, hey, getting high off noodles.
Also Fuck you Stephen King and Fuck the horse you rode in on, making me cry In front of my coworkers.
You know that thing where you wouldn't typically eat ass but you're in love with him so you want to eat his ass, because it's HIS ass
Randomize
