man, i hate rosetta stone. i wanted to impress this girl with italian last night but all i could say were things like "a blue airplane" and "he is wearing a white shirt"
Kristen just told everyone at the bar that I've got a huge dick, now Brittany is giving me the eye. What is the opposite of FML?
This is a mass text. Does anyone know what the hell the asian woman at the end of Napoleon Dynamite is doing in the movie
sent the pic of my tit to the wrong bbm chatroom
all i remember is that her bootyshorts said 'shameless' and that there was no turning back.
Just saw a girl duct tape a cigarette back together..I feel like my life is shambles for being present for this
Well sundance is in town and Im going to use my one and only shot to bang Taylor swift... Does it count as a random if shes famous?
Those two lesbians inspired me. A whole new way to roll. Fuck shots. Gallons of vodka is the new tequila.
He showed me his scar from his appendix surgery. It was educational and fun....
Spending Thanksgiving making a swinging profile brings the day to a whole new level...
COME HERE AND I WILL SUCK YOUR COCK UNDER THE LIGHT OF THIS BEAUTIFUL ELECTRICITY
I didn't even know his name until he texted me the next day and told me I should take a plan B pill. Thanks Danny.
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
You kept running around yelling "I need my pajamas" & then you got naked. Shit just went downhill from there.
Can you leave her a note saying "did you enjoy watching me fuck your roommate?"
I will.
Randomize
