We ran out of things to say while we were playing Never Have I Ever so we started playing I Have Done This... Have You?
I feel like royalty, that girl from last night had a vajazzled vag. Bucket list complete.
Your drunken mistake is coming over to see if she wants to buy any of our furniture. I know youre desperate, but try not to fuck her, without a condom, for a fourth time, while shes there.
her idea of "friends with benefits" is her doing my laundry. i'm cool with it.
How many bratwuest were you able to fit in your mouth at one time? It's me, Hans.
I would totes be making out with random people in the name of america if I was at the white house right now
He's like a perfect storm of amazing hair and horrible judgment.
You should have seen her, she looked like a skinny Jabba The Hutt
That literally makes no sense
Exactly
i'm hungover but need to study so i had a vodka orange juice, three ibuprofen and an adderall for breakfast. what up med school
I was stuffing my vagina with gummy bears last night having him eat them out of me. Team Haribo for the win!
Yeah yeah I know I have to bring your dog back.
The guys who program Autocorrect have never seen a vagina in person
Grandma's bordering on serious shit show territory at this point.
No way hahaha I have zero intention of adding him I wanna just join in on a three some but mostly just be there for moral support and snacks
Sorry for face licking, I probably won't do it again.
Also, I love cats. I sat on the floor and they sat with me.
Randomize
