My cock was attacked by outdoor plants
dude i just saw the hottest 13 year old but she was kinda ghetto.
They still haven't come up with a cure for a hangover; good luck cancer.
I just noticed that when I sneeze...my nipples get hard.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he left me a note this morning. it said "thank you for letting me touch you"
They're pole dancing on a handicap sign post.
That girl next to you randomly said that she fits into a queen sized pillow case
WTF.
Hold on. At Sephora trying to decide what despair smells like.
She's lucky her pussy is worth listening to her ramble about bedroom furniture for 30 minutes
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
" my drug dealer just stopped by and did an elmo impression for my 2 year old nephew."
I got a snap of someone jumping off a light pole. Was that you? Please confirm or deny. #onWisconsin
I need to stop adding people I want to bone on LinkedIn.
..... starting now
I think I'm just going to get a farm, a vibrater, and a lot of wine.
I'm sorry i showed you my boobs.. I probably shouldn't have done that.
God. Spice Girls is now grocery store demographic. Kill me.
Randomize