just wrote on a church. and then stalked a boy, by the way, i fucked him. him being your friend, also, love tacos.
i dont know whats so great about being respectable.
just upgraded from jello shots to jello bowls blacking out just got that much more delicious
Sometimes I wish I could peel his face off and use it to take all the money out of his account.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
your tears are not going to buy me drinks...
my voice of reason is faarrr too drunk for me to listen.
He was streaking. We were hammered. We had roman candles. It only made sense to shoot them at him.
wine pong. its mother daughter day and i think she's mad. I smell like jager
The worst decision I made last night was allowing myself to be duct taped to the ceiling
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She was purple for Halloween. She literally spray-painted herself purple and called it a costume. It won't come off.
Cleaning my room at 2am, in just one corner I found six beers, half a pint of whiskey, my flask, 2 shotgun bullets, my crown and shimmer lotion.
I am pretty sure I just put SoCo in the bird feeder
I just noped my wife on Tinder. Turns out I was the second one to find out that we both have it.
sorry didn’t mean to call you, i was just trying to put the t-rex emoji beside your name
He has me blocked on facebook.... so I stalked him using my cats fan page.
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