i just puked in front of my entire floor a girl on crutches asked iof i needed help hahaaa fuck ima damn fool
Almost ran you over in the parking lot. You look good
I'm the only one here who isn't hooking up, coming out of the closet, or crying because of one of those 2 things.
I think my tv knows when im high and tells taco bell
I was high enough to understand and function with 'flip' while playing brick breaker
Damn. I don't think I could ever be that high.
there are ass prints on the hood of my car.
After three games of beer pong ending in victory by death cup, all four of us bonded in the fact that we all slept with the girl's boyfriend at some point in time in the past year. She had no idea.
i looked at my phone and realized all i had said to her the entire night was misspelled variations of "NOTHING IS THE SAME" over and over. she eventually stopped replying.
Stayed out til 7 am.... Did u know there's a guy who goes up and down the quad at that hour playing bagpipes?
is it bad that my walk of shame involves the church shuttle?
I asked her why she named her vibrator Lorenzo and said it was the name she started screaming her first time.
i found you in bed eating fish fillets dipped in chocolate pudding
I'm not sure how long my penis is exactly, but I will tell you it resembles a bendy straw
I'll have sex with you for tacos. I don't care, man.
He walked in on me banging his sister and said "you're both old enough to make you own decisions. Carry on"
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