I start off june hungover/still drunk stumbling down my driveway with the trashcan at 6am..it's gonna be an interesting month
he used the word "rubber" i just couldn't do it after that.
If the first sentence isn't something about weed or the nature of choclate I'm skipping class.
Highlight of my weekend: having my card suspended due to "suspicious charges" and standing in line at the gas station yelling at customer service on the phone that I really did go to 4 different strip clubs in one night
I took us ten minutes to realize the shower sex going upstairs was the reason the kitchen ceiling was flooding.
there is an extreme lack of margarita in my mouth.
Btw before you ask, the dr said there's no way shoving his dick that far down my throat is why i got laryngitis
Last thing I remember was wondering why there was a mirror on the wall behind the urinal and then realizing I was pissing in the sink.
I left my pipe in my center console with a bowl packed when I took my car to the shop, and when I picked it up the weed had been smoked, but my oil change was only half price.
I love shooting for the middle. Those girls never wake up well.
I'm not going to say what I did. You're smart enough to figure it out. But I did it. And you owe me 20$
This morning I found four opened yet full beers on my desk and my towel rack pulled off the wall and in bed with me
I hooked up with a guy dressed up as morning wood. Needless to say he lived up to his costume.
At least you didn’t announce to an entire bar you’ve eaten pussy, and then knocked your beer over.
Really dude? drunk texts at 9 in the morning? its wednesday
Randomize
