I hate bills.
Like ones you have to pay or people named William?
this text is just filler to avoid a lull in the conversation
i woke up naked with 27 half ripped $ bills in my bed from ripping them off the wall of the bar
My student's should feel privledged to see me tuesday after the amount of alcohol I consumed this weekend.
On the airplane today the pilot actually said "Ladies and gentlemen I'm sorry for the delay. But I know all of you have problems, and so do we..."
I'm still not completely convinced I'm not pregnant. I just dipped beef jerky in cream cheese frosting.
Would I be bad if I bought a pregnancy test at shoppers the same time I hand in a resume? Or do you think it would get me the job?
Im about to get a baby alligator stoned, what are you doing with your life?
First memory of my senior year: Going into registration still drunk from last night.
That would make regret #10
He was more like the original regret
I'm tellin ya, let the nipple get some air, they'll hire u on the spot, lawyers love a little nip
What if for Halloween I paint my self gold and make sandwiches for everyone? I'd be a trophy wife! Get it?
I'm just going to ride dicks all the way to the to the gates of hell
I got a charlie horse in my ass while masturbating. We are never been going to that boot camp again.
This should be illegal
It is
I mean more illegal... I shouldn't have this
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