would you consider him our boss?
technically yes
then technically i slept with our boss
People are handing out olympic condoms downtown, just put it on and it broke, this is how there trying to raise the population. Very sneaky canadian government, very sneaky
I wish I could save this moment forever and have sex with it regularly. Its just tht beautiful.
My last google search was "mavis beacon techs tping" Thank god google auto corrects bc otherwise i wouldn't know that i drunk-type 13 words a minute.
im not picky. i just want someone whod go down on me while im writing my psych midterm paper. thats not a lot to ask.
I was thinking of baby names while I was giving him a blow job
I'm soaked in beer, and I think blood. Why did we think we could tap a keg with a hammer?
He's bought his dick a cell phone. A cell phone. For his dick...
He gave me the number and told me that I if I want to hook up again, I have to call his penis.
also, made a drinking game out of my birthday photos....drink everytime alcohol is in a photo. going through all 350 of them.
Atlanta road trip update. Jimmy fell into the petting tank at the aquarium. And freaked out. With cops now... Keep you posted
Omg yes! I just found a random muffin! Don't question it. Just praise the miracle.
So I spent all night thinking my bed was floating down a river and telling the cats to get on the bed because they were going to float away. Percocet is strong shit.
I stopped for beer and woke up to a bird on my shoulder. I really need to stop drinking
So we decided we're going to stop having sex...except for tonight. And probably tomorrow.
I buy a new bowl every time I get a new guy. It's retail therapy.
Randomize
