Literal conversation "you are ________ ____. you facebook friended me"
her fupa was seducing me. this is the last time i'm doing shrooms.
I'm fucking him on the second date. I don't give a fuck what Patti Stanger says.
I only had sex with her cause she looked like jwoww from jersey shore
I woke up from my nap, looked out my window, and saw about bout 6 people get tasered in less than 20 seconds.....could someone please tell me what's going on.
i had confetti in my bra
i still find it in random places like a shoe or my car. that week haunts me
When I find myself drinking from a boot I just go with it and refuse to ask why.
The magic cards should have been the first clue. The comments that I have "amazing birthing hips" and that I'm "beautiful in a child bearing sort of way just sealed his fate.
He made me sneak beer in the diaper bag... guess who is winning 2012 parents of the year
We walked 3 miles to the strip club. Stopped for roadies, it wasn't that bad.
he told me that I'm basically going to be the mom of the house when they move in...i like to see it as being a MILF without the responsibility of real children
I can't wait to see you again. It will be like when we first started dating- but with less clothes.
I'm getting drunk off Malibu and watching Drag Race and it's only 2 in the afternoon. I'm the poster child for sad gay men.
Started dabbing in blow again because he always hated that I did it. Yuh I’m doing drugs but at least I’m doing me?
The streets are paved with hand jobs
Randomize
