every time I hook up with him I think about the fact that penicillin was a mistake too... and look how well that turned out. It makes me feel just a little bit better.
how many times in life can you be kicked out of a pizza buffet for vomiting on the food and insulting small children
After that we used the in-room hotel coffee pot to warm up some queso. it was brilliant
I cant even remember his name or what he looked like. all I remember is what the tattoo on his forearm looked like.
well, he kindof looked like a walmart greeter. I tried to stop you
I was also standing on my bed with a road cone pounding on the ceiling at 3am. Not sure why
Nope, I'm sticking to passive aggressive punishments. Like mismatching his socks and cumming on his leather couch. OCD is so wonderful.
He deleted all his profile pics with her. It was like the bat signal for single women everywhere.
Also, you peed on your hand last night. Id just like to point that out
Not sure how I feel about St Psts and March Madness being on the same weekend. I feel like I've been screwed out of a drunk holiday.
im trying to look as sober as possible but i just poured orange juice and mayo into my milkshake.
You don't understand. There's baclava and there's post sex baclava. You can't compare the two.
THE FASTEST WAY TO MY HEART IS THROUGH FAMILY SIZED BAGS OF GENERIC BRAND CHEESE BALLS
PLEASE AT LEAST MEOW SO I KNOW YOU AREN'T DEAD
Remind me to tell you: When threeways go awry, my MLK weekend story.
Just puked in front of a high school tour group. Based on the standing ovation, we have a solid group of freshman coming in this fall.
Randomize
