I just saw the Donald Trump of homeless quys walking down the street. He had three shopping carts and a bike.
I'm 99% sure that for 3 hours I thought you were British. We must smoke that again.
The walk of shame has never felt more glorious... I think it's the somberero
Sometimes I wish I could peel his face off and use it to take all the money out of his account.
you said grace in the diner. 5am, drunk, grace. you thanked the man w the mushroom cut for the wonderful supply of screwdrivers
I'm still amazed at how you managed to puke in every plant on the whole top floor at the mall without a single person noticing and without missing a step.
idk but i have you stored in my phone as 'guy with beard doing body shots'
This old guy just saw me toking on my bubbler before I go to the dentist. He gave me the nod.
Your vase full of piss was still at his house and he still doesn't know.
Sorry, I thought I responded to your question. My name is Jon, we kinda had a sleepover at your friends place in OC. Don't know if you remember me, you were "dick chugging" like there was no tomorrow last night.
Your the only person to come back from spring break with a non std related infection
My mom's yelling at me for being a whore and my dad's quizzing me on how to drive in winter weather....I'm home!
aloe plants are like gummy bears with an exoskeleton, but with healing powers instead of deliciousness.
are you on the drugs???
Tequila shots and throwing it at a bell.
This is dumb. I'll keep doing it.
My drunk is wearing off and im starting to feel like this dolphin tattoo was a bad idea.
Randomize
