Dude, I was completely sober last night, didn't puke on my shoes, went home with an incredibly beautiful girl, wore a condom, and didn't wake up in a puddle of urine this morning.
hah, sarcasm, classic
Your brother just successfully got half the bar mostly naked
Not me. I think "beastiality" sounds pretty classy.
she made me take her to the grocery store to buy a gallon of sweet tea and a shit ton of band aids, the cashier asked if someone was hurt and she replied "not yet.."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Never again. I promise. My old gay body can't handle that much adrenaline twice.
You should be proud. How many people can say they GAVE a stripper an std?
Pros and cons of selling your underwear to a guy on craigslist. Go.
Come down off the roof.
I'm trying to pinpoint the moment when "don't do anything I wouldn't do" became bad advise.
There is a dude in a thong with a Nerf axe having battles in the street. Welcome to Portland
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He turned down head in favor of a handjob. Not sure if he's crazy or i have magic hands
When I finally came to, I was in the DJ booth wearing his headphones while he was spinning. That's all I got.
How did i get home and why am i wearing someone elses shorts?
1. Not sure how 2. You showed up naked, we had to dress you.
I wish there was a tumbleweed emoji. Because that would describe my vagina.
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
Hey bro are you still alive??? I'm sure you are wondering how you ended up laying on the floor at the foot of your bed and why there is a wheelchair by your door....
Randomize