Nipple clamps can be ambiguous
Saying we were separated at birth, got on a ship and sailed here via onion barrel from Somalia didn't help our case at all....
Apparently I had an idea for a cooking show and then proceeded to throw cookies at people.
i was playing the convince him im sober game through texting. i spelled most of the words right. i hope.
I feel the need to clarify that I did not show her my vagina.
I cant believe you went home with her.. Your poor immune system and the shit you put it through.
I'm using the house around the corner that my parents rent out to people as a means of getting sex. I just tell them I'm going for a walk and just invite my next hook up over
I wish I could have seen the drive thru woman's face after " May I please have 20 Mcflurrys.....and a large diet coke, I'm trying to watch my weight for bikini season."
So I just got drugs from a house with a giant cross on it. Thank you, Jesus.
so I may or may not have had intense sex to mozart's greatest hits on vinyl... I don't know if I should be proud or just really disappointed in my nerdness
I woke up with my my shoes on and pants half way off and missing 60 dollars. Please please please tell me you saw me last night.
You should probably come home from vacation now. I make badddd decisions when you're gone.
According to my bank account I spent a penny some where
Listen I don't care what it's called as long as it's drugs
Do you ever look at your life and go "i'm too sober for this bullshit"?
Every day of my life.
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