I justed realized that the word 'turd" is present in saturday
My 10 year old son gave me a bottle of jameson for fathers day. Did you have something to do with this?
Look what our sorority has done to us...we're hitting on girls in hopes of getting an awesome little.
Just read my long term horoscope. I'm not gonna get laid for another 2 years.
You ordered 6 boxes of pizza and laughed in the pizza guys face when you didn't pay for any of them.
Horrible. I told her my girlfriend is in the hospital and she tried to give me a lapdance.
As for the 14 hours of vodka. I am all that is man.
Call me old-fashioned, but I don't think the words, "Finger my ass" should find their way into casual conversation.
Nothing brings compassion from a group of cafe workers like walking in and asking if they have a 'hangover special'
Sometimes you have a glimmer of a heart and then I immediately remember you are dead inside.
Who else will cuddle and watch the Bachelor with me then finger bang me during the rose ceremony
My mom and my boss just had a discussion on FB about the sexual habits of old people. The magic of the Internet.
Is it bad that we left the kid passed out on the bus? I think his name was texas. I was too drunk to be questioning this.
For someone who's supposed to be gay Greg is really good at seducing me into things I don't wanna do
please don't ironically join a cult
Randomize
