so i told my doctor my symptons and she just shook her head at me
and then the entire party sang the national anthem a capella around the keg.
I'm going to pre plan my black out tonight. I think I'll set a change of clothes out on my bed and unplug the oven.
You would not believe how incredibly hard it is to climb on top of a three story apartment buildings roof from the air conditioning unit
How did "just two beers for happy hour" turn into naked backyard wrestling?
The waitress asked if you wanted white or brown, and you said "Isn't it all the same color when it's toasted?". She stared at you for about 20 seconds before she decided that you weren't fucking with her.
Why is there a muffler in the livingroom?
First, I just want to say that I had nothing to do with it. Second, how good is your car insurance?
I had a dream he was standing in front of me naked and flexing while yelling VICTORY and gizzing all over the floor.
She had her pubic hair down there shaved into the superman s............. Best one night stand ever.
how do you always get into these "we banged the same dude now lets be friends" situations???
I love everything about him! His penis, his hair, his tattoos, his penis, his cat, his penis.
He literally said, while inside me, "I would smack your ass but I don't want to wake my mom up". Amazing.
she grabed my junk and started making lightsaber noises
I wonder if you could get her in a metal bikini
Everyone got an underage but her
How'd she get out of it?!
She hid in the FUCKING DRYER
The bouncers found you passed out on the toilet. They tried to move you but you refused and repeatedly shouted that you wanted to go out like Elvis.
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