direct quote: "i'm so over my clit" either best or most awkward conversation possible with your COUSIN
Todays lesson: Chew your food better when your drunk. I almost choked throwing up this morning.
so whenever I text yeah my phone automatically corrects it to yeahhhheeehhyeahyeahh .. too much party in the USA?
dude skip the party. it is a fucking post office here
what the hell does that mean?
nothing good but a whole lotta male and packages
slowly transforming into a stationary lump of steel. how can you tell me that was JUST weed
nothing worse than sitting down ready for a solid porn sesh to find out your internet is out. comcast owes me a handjob
It's 4th of July all over again, we were chasing with the pool water.
This guy just asked me to stab his arm with my keys to make sure he wasn't dying.
You kept asking the bartender if you could "buy a dollar".
FACE TIME HER WHILE YOU GUYS BANG
Just follow the currents of life. And if they take me on to a guys dick, so be it.
I was giving him a handjob in the woods and a family walked by
im not letting a little injury get in the way of my alcoholic/drug problems. we ARE getting turnt tonight.
Some guys phone started vibrating on the tv. I answered mine. That's how high I am.
I'm a girl who met my last three bfs in gay clubs. Think I'm doing something wrong?
Randomize
