tonight would not even compare to the night i tried to pee in the living room
listen if there's one thing I'm asking of you tonight is that you buy me a cow for my farmville.
Tell me you're stoned. It's 2:40am.
just saw someone puke all over a michigan fan. he didn't even flinch.
Her underwear doesnt even match. If youre going to be a face book whore at least have matching shit.
jungle juice + heels + stairs = broken arm
I just saw a girl walk by me wearing a "kiss me I'm pro choice" shirt. Is that a signal for easy access?
Bagel with cream cheese. It's blowing my fucking mind.
How high are you right now..
I MICROWAVED IT. SIGNIFICANT IMPROVEMENT.
I had to convince someone last night that the fact that he couldn't get me off wasn't him it was me and to clarify I had to tell him there was only. One person that got me off every time without fail, he said "that guy is my hero" you should be proud
Found your counterpart from cali. Walked into the bar we were in with milk and a donut, ordered a beer and said anything his group wanted was on his tab....dangerous
I just singed the hair in my nose trying to re-light a joint. now all i can smell is burnt hair. day ruiner
Yeah I'd rather get obliterated at home.
Same here. I'd like to ensure that I won't get pissed on.
HOLY FUCK I almost floated out of the city. Thank god my dog kept me down.
On another note- any interest in going to a gay bar to hit on 19yr olds?
She came out of the bathroom listening to her iPod and crying. Then she started scream 'she will be loved'. She seems to be handling the break up well lol
DID YOU OR DID YOU NOT, PEE IN MY FUCKING TRASHCAN?!
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