Well i just wrestled a cop... p.s. i won
Who would have thought google would have HELPED me fail a test...not pass...thank you pacman, thank you google....
His bookmark is a piece of toilet paper. No shame there.
I just tried to sell my homemade "lightning bolt stencil for pubes" on Etsy.
the ladder is at the bottom of the pool
so, does the "dick the size of your forearm" thing run in the family then?
The whole time we were fucking I kept thinking, "My dad would love this cologne. I'll have to ask him where he got it." the highlight of the night is that I figured out my dad's birthday gift.
Pretending to be completely fried so the odd girl next to me doesnt suspect im simply staring at her.
He is nice. Kind of short though. But didn't try to rub his jean cock on me.
Which I appreciated.
my star wars tattoo got me laid last night. definitely a dark side sort of benefit im thinking
I said his dick tasted like a Hawaiian Sweet Roll. And then I yelled MAHALO.
I need dunkaroos back in my life.
I think I came out of my blackout as I was ordering wine from the private wedding reception.
Quote of the night award goes to my father "I like wearing my swim trunks around the house because they are cooler and more blousy for my balls". Yay dad
I’m vetoing meatball margaritas right out the gate. We can’t have people throwing up again!
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