Wow so rude I was trying to have an orgy later but whatever
I think having sex with you would be a great treat for us
you guys got to bein so kosher and go with the flow
Nope, Im Irish and pissed with some drunk mixed in...therefore punching things is the best solution to every problem.
i'm touring the leper colony via mapquest street view so we dont have to go there
either she said she was feeling frisky or eating friskies..i was too drunk to understand.
There are going to be so many Snookis this Halloween that I might just dress as the guy that hit her and punch them all in the face
I'm wearing cowboy boots and showing way too much cleavage to be in a place with no jaeger.
Almost propositioned sex in exchange for a study guide for my final tomorrow.
Come get her ASAP. She's "people bowling," which is just her rolling into random groups of people. People look pissed.
My dad wants to dress like mitt Romney tomorrow night and tell trick or treaters they owe him candy.
I'm gonna eat you out with that hat on so it looks like beaker's doing it. And I'm gonna go "memememememe"
17. The number of times my one night stand told me he loved me.
Last night I dreamed that I got eaten out by Lego Harry Potter.
We were having margaritas and I was saying "back when I was drinking..." They looked all confused. Then I realized "holy shit they think THIS is drinking?"
I need to start journaling my drunk thoughts. Drunk me is fucking brilliant & sober me is missing out.
Did you clean my apartment?
I thought it was a dream, I'm sorry
Please stay more often
Randomize
