I would rather wake up to a truck driver than wake up to her
Any girl that compares her vag to a hot ham sandwich is beyond a slut
she did the YMCA with her lgs... i think she forgot she wasnt wearing any underwear
So I missed her say 'don't' before 'come in me'. She felt what was happening and freaked - which actually made the moment 100x better.
as we waited for a manager to come open the door that we broke while having sex on the wall, we decided to go round two in the hallway before he came back.. god i love hotels.
You yelled "GET TO DA CHOPPA" and burst through her screen door and disappeared into the night. With the goose.
I'm at your house, laying with your dog, eating taco meat, take your time.
Just saw a midget on an elliptical. Epic.
I DONT UNDERSTAND NIPPLES. THEY JUST POP OUT FOR NO REASON
Well somebody's had a rough day, nipple-wise
I was carrying around a bottle of Jameson yelling rescue me
Apparently "I licked it so now it's mine" doesn't apply to people
I didn't even have pants on and you think I had an agenda
By god, his vagina is better looking than mine.
All I'm saying is this is the exact reason I should not be left unsupervised.
It's official. My little brother has had more sex in my car than I have. I'm still tied with my little sister. I hate everybody.
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