Let me rephrase. Would it display my intentions too much if i walked all the way across my office and into the bathroom carrying my book
All I know is it had something to do with a plunger and tuna salad. I'm done. I'm quitting my job.
Lucky for you, I found your phone.....Not so lucky for you, it was in the bottom of your vomit-filled trashcan.
Ive decided I'm sending thank you notes to all the bars for graduation.
She looked up at the menu and yelled this is my absolute favorite literacy
We fed him just...so many bright colored crayons when he was blacked out. I hope he looks at his shits because this could be all for nothing
Okay, I just got to our real hotel and the YMCA may have been a better choice. A man w/ no shirt on
Quick how do you hit on a guy in the car behind you? It's important.
He took my virginity but also my remaining pizza. i dont know how to feel right now.
Also, next time I go get a wax, I'm gonna ask the girl about the innie to outie ratio she sees on the daily.
Officially spring today. First sighting of loud-ass Steller Jay on the balcony.
How did i get home and why am i wearing someone elses shorts?
1. Not sure how 2. You showed up naked, we had to dress you.
Got a $290 noise violation last night for shouting "THE KING OF THE NORTH" til 2 am
My boobs look fucktastic, I have a booty call on Sunday and a dick photo on my phone. Life is grand!
This is not a test of the emergency warning system. He has broken my vagina. I repeat he has broken my vagina. Damn it was good.
Randomize
