Well i threw up in my mouth a few times. But i successfully swallowed it. Still going strong.
Bad news: I had to be at work at 7:15. Good news: no one had used the bathroom yet so I got to defile a freshly cleaned stall
Situation: He got it in my eye, how long do I let it sting before should start to worry?
Every one of her profile pictures looks like an ad for American Apparel. Of course she has syphilis.
it took me 2 minutes to realize that it wasn't HER hand on my penis. First, and worst threesome ever..
Just found out I reached my $2500 deductible and I have a $5 million dollar cap on my health insurance. Let's get drunk and do something recklessly stupid tonight.
That doesn't help it make any more sense. Because now you've brought pinata condoms into this.
We have a guy passed out in the bathroom with one of our pots. Not sure if he's your friend so I let him be
He is crying over the toilet and his friends just came in and tried to make him take another jello shot.
Why is there a condom in the dishwasher...
Check the mailbox while you're out!
I already looked this morning. You go check and see what you won on Ebay after your day drinking spree.
It's because of weed that I don't mind driving an hour to visit my family. And it's because of you that there's weed in my life. Thank you.
I went to her house she had a kid pool in her living room watching the vacation channel drinking rum out of the bottle saying" life is what you make it. Mines a vacation!!!"
I guess I'm an especially affectionate person under the influence of tequila.
Hey. It's Michael. The guy that had his tongue in your mouth last night. Just wanted to check in with you.
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