Sry I called you an 8
He's a firefighter, who has his own band. I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
I could swear I did coke with Jesus last night
Apparantly 7 1/2 Vicodin is a 1/2 too many.
Just took a shot out of a used mini planter. Might die from the pesticides, but didnt want whoever took all of my shotglasses to think they won.
Either I got the clap, or I masturbated with soap while I was sleeping.
I think she's perpetually drunk
It's all she knows
Watching videos from last night and u go "I should be the president, I can get whatever I want w my tits"
New rule: I am no longer allowed to speak
Going to the beach. Greeting Sandy with a blunt. Wish us luck!
Just realized I could have five different dicks in me the day of valentines day but no real date. My life
The attempted closet masturbation was unforgivable.
That was the most fucked up I've ever seen him. He had the fucking Canola Oil!
these people use weed stems as birthday cake candles. I'm never coming home
I almost tased myself
I dont think you should own that device.
It's an awesome device. I love this device.
Dude so last night I was eating out my gf and her kitten climbed onto my back and fell asleep. AND SHE DIDN'T NOTICE FOR LIKE 10 MINUTES
Curing hangovers with more alcohol was a great idea for the first five days
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