so stoned i ashed in my jack and coke like 4 times. drinking it anyway
If I die and they 'assume' it's natural causes, just go with it.
Im at the hospital with monitors on and a giant green top hat. i blew a 24somethin. Im fucked.
The only thing worse than cracking my rib on a slip and slide was having the doctors laugh when they found out in my medical history that I did this exact same thing last summer.
Jordan and I are drunk and barred out at the liquor store sitting in the awesome $70 Corona bench bargaining with the owner for a lower price, all while passing the Belvedere bottle between the two of us. Real life. College has down this.
He came when he saw that my nipples were pieced
You kept asking her which dick pills worked the best. She's a grandmother.
So I bring Danny back to the apartment for the first time and my roommate is curled up in the beanbag in the middle of the floor, wearing nothing but her uggs, high out of her mind and watching Harry potter... She offered us kettle corn.
He asked if he could come over tomorrow....
I found a playlist on my ipod with only one song on it: gold digger. confused, but not surprised.
A homeless man gave him a blanket and an ambulance drove him to sarahs...
So far I've taken two naps, went out and bought a pizza called the Hipster, and in 15 min I'm gonna make a snow angel. Conquering Snowlandia. How bout you?
Just saw a rice crispy commercial and got emotional. I need to go home.
I felt I lost my designated buddy on a field trip when you wandered off to get high with strangers.
Sexting my TA in lecture = awesome
Only you could get too drunk for taco bell. I don't know if I'm jealous or ashamed. Go to bed.
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