It's not a real calculator it's a math calculator
What kind of poor, pathetic town do we live in where a horny teenage girl is sitting in her basement on a saturday night, unlaid?
Last night we were drunk and talking about rude things, I mentioned felching and had to explain it to everyone. Everyone was disgusted and asked how I knew about such filth and I told them you told me. Don't get mad. Also a quck heads up, you might get gifts of straws at work,
How do you feel about the band name "O'labia Newton John"??
I never Thought the day id see a chick shove a 2liter up her vag. that happened last night
Apparently he ran around last night saying he was 'the hulk hogan of muff diving'
you took my bottle from me saying i was unprepared for its magical qualities. then you buckled it in the backseat.
$150 bar tab covered by these tits. That's now the going rate. Keeping my bra on during sex unless i see the Benjamins.
THIS IS THE EMERGENCY BOOZE SYSTEM. I AM EN ROUTE TO DEWITT WITH A FIFTH OF TEQUILA. THIS IS NOT A TEST
Do you think it's safe to mix miralax with a tequila sunrise?
I would pay to watch a Bravo special of you getting Botox.
Welcome to Missouri, the show me your genitals state.
We celebrated Cinco the right way. We took shots of 1800 then he fucked me while Selena was on TV in the background
Everything is fine, it's not hung over in here at all\n\n*Narrator* *but in fact everything was not fine*
Wait, you met him on Onlyfans? The guy from last night? Which one of you is the fan?
Because one of you banged your stalker
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