i puked in the mini-firdge
we don't have a mini-fridge?
bought one. it ws too cheap to pass up. xcept now there's puke in it,,, but the freezer's fine so i feel pretty good about that
So. Camera broke because I tried to wash it under the sink, kristi had to take me home and I woke up to my computer showing me that I googled how t take more than one shot at a time. I'd say the night was a success.
I just woke up in a puddle of boob sweat. Definitely time to consider a reduction.
woke up in a garbage bag. literally. it was used as a sleeping bag.
He just said he wasn't going to drink on Saturday because he was drinking on Thursday and Friday...we need new friends.
if im not pregnant im gonna be so pissed for spending the money from my weed fund on the test
wow, a mother in the making
Despite what happened tonight, Im still expecting Jesus birthday sex
I will miss his soup and his dick the most
Just walked into a random hotel for the free breakfast. How was your night?
I am lonely and I want to touch your beard
shes taking the breakup well, i walked in on her naked passed out wearing a turban with a bag of peanut butter choc chips in hand at 5 in the afternoon.
Woke up with a text saying "when I get to see them titties again lil ma??" With 8 beads around my neck & an empty bottle of vodka in my arms.
Pizza rolls are incredible. They are like sex, except I have them sometimes
I just remembered that i did pull ups in a bikini on the porch of Red Lobster last night. someone needs to stage an intervention
I mean she's doing calculus in her head to prove how NOT drunk she is.
Randomize
