weddingsv make me drug and hornr
hitting rock bottom=girl fakes converting to christianity in order to get out of having sex with you.
Note to all middle aged "I totally let myself go after childbirth" frumpy mothers: I do not dress this way for your husbands. Stop looking at me like that. It's not my fault.
We need to start having rules for the weekends. Like no more downing 3 shots because we want to slut dance a little harder or because biggie just came on.
I woke up at 3am naked and stroking a watermelon.
Why do I feel like I'm not the only one drinking to make my night class teacher look better?
I respect you for how well you shave your vagina. It isn't easy and my dick faces out, not in.
I wonder what blackout Alex would think of her?
probably "functioning vagina, must touch"
I just want to let it be known that I almost put my phone in the fridge.
I honestly think she should have her own reality show called "Lowering the Bar" and it consists of a camera crew following her from Bar to bar hooking up with unsuspecting drunk attractive men.
How are you getting in?
I know some influential drag queens
When you're not at your house I assumed you're somewhere having sex
Yes I peed all over myself and lost both my credit cards, who wants to know?
Let's make this a nightly thing. You'll explain the Watergate scandal like you're telling me a bedtime story while I eat popcorn high as fuck
You need to get a passport so we can carry our bad decisions over the border
Randomize
