At least you're going to bed with all the teeth you woke up with
at the bar. watching boys pee in urinals. when they come out we give them a thumbs up or a thumbs down. probbb shouldn't prop the bathroom door open with a bar stool....
Is it creepy to message a girl and say you had me at stocked liquor cabinet?
the liquor store owner came out from behind the counter and kissed my cheek when he saw that i am back for fall semester
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm either watching Fifth Element or Hotel Rwanda. There's black people and white people and high life tall boy 18 packs are $11.99 so I could be watching my own hand. I have no idea.
Tell your boss that he's keeping you from eating a fuck sundae off of these 36-24-36 34 D's waiting for you at home on Valentine's Day.
Yea, I had a chaperone thankfully. I'm in the fetal position attempting to eat captain crunch now.
What the fuck is wrong with your family? Why do you have unfrosted pop tarts.
You straight up wore me out. This should be a proud moment for you. It's almost like my penis is asking for a timeout. But not really
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
They just keep looking funny at me. No one has attempted to tell me that I don't make sense though so maybe they're all way more high than I am.
Updates: Made out with a teletubby last night in the middle of the street #lifegoals
Question: When you have the names of 4 guys tattoo'd on you, how do you make the 5th one real special?
Will u make me a "6 month anniversary of being single" cake??? I wanna celebrate
i was so blazed last night that i kept imagining a talking eagle sitting next to me encouraging me to smoke more... i listened to it.
You abruptly started screaming because they had and I quote “calamari on the hoof”
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