just smoked a bowl with my history teacher. i love community college
The water bill last month was outrageous. We have got to stop fucking for hours in the shower
Everytime I walk into a bathroom at school that I've taken a pregnancy test in I get a little bit nostalgic....
The first clue should've been that he literally had shit in his hair. How does that even happen?
I was told my cock was a religious experience.
2 reasons we need to wear those onesies to the bar more ofter 1) comfy as shit 2) we both still got laid\n\nHow can you resist that kinda night?
You know you're doing well in life when weed is considered to improve your job performance
I woke up in a bath tub and my face was sore and it wasn't because of you, I was impressed
Have 7 min to kill while I wait for liquor store to open. Feels really awkward.
HOLY FUCK I almost floated out of the city. Thank god my dog kept me down.
It's like an adderall Houdini. Right when you think you have a deal he disappears
It's such a sad loss when a hot guy finds Jesus and grows a neckbeard
Don't forget to bring $1s for the strippers. Make it rain!!!!
Thanks, mom, will do
It finally happened my mom knowingly gave me money to buy drugs i knew this day would come\n
Is it bad that whip cream tastes like sex to me?
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