my mkouth tastes houw teh zoo smelllls
Well I think that's a good thing that I'm not full of someone else.
Just met someone from Jersey. No fist pumps or jagerbombs. Kind of disappointed...
You paid the taxi driver with a comb last night.
Just rolled over and found your boyfriend in bed with me. Is mine at your house?
I have feelings that need drinking.
In other news, I had my first sex related injury of the school year so that's cool
the cashier at the gas station pulled a twig out of my hair and told me I should probably wash it before work....it was kinda sweet.
Is her dick bigger than yours?
I don't think it counts as a booty call at 6:30 pm.
If you ever tell anyone I offered you boob squeezes for cheetos, I'll kill you
I fucked that choir dude last night. he had the most strangely musical moans. it was like a Sound Of Music porno.
just said thank you to the lady who gave me a body search at the airport
Did I penguin dive down a hill last night?
I’ve got full Covid immunity, blonde hair and great tits! I’m basically unstoppable
Randomize
