Forget about socially acceptable. Make me happy instead
Is it weird that we showed each other our pussy's and pointed out the good and bad things about each others??
pretend to be my girlfriend and sign me up for tool academy
Canada just beat USA, the sad part they still need us to make money so who really won
I found out why we traded puke covered dresses in the bathroom.
Some ambulance just rolled up to this bar and this girl just hops out of the back and walks inside
Aaaand my life has been reduced to whether I can reach to flush my puke down the toilet using my foot. The answer is yes.
Well, I wanted to be you for Halloween but I couldn't fit seven dicks in my mouth.
But he found my shoe...that at least deserves a handjob.
ahhhh just came to creep and you're not there AND your thong you were wearing last night is on the floor..someone has some explaining to do
She just rubbed her face up and down my six pack cooing. Equal measure of weird and hot.
I told my grandmother all I want is a nice guy who likes to be tied up.
I was so drunk I got stuck in the middle of a revolving door
Gave his drunk ass water, & he poured it on my shirt while saying "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!" When reminded of it today he replied with, "at least you came in first place"
No. I'm home alone and 100% dickless. I hate my life.
Randomize
