don't worry. When rigor sets in, we'll make sure to get you laid one last time.
you know he's having a sex change. I can't believe you called him "titty man" to his face....
what made it akward was his girlfriends dog watching us have sex
Her divorce is going to cut into the amount of time we spend fucking.
I'm in awe of how selfish that is.
She's a squirter....that makes up for lots of other annoying things
I just found blacked-out interviews on my voice recorder. Go journalism.
Found out that it IS actually possible to get road head from somebody in the back seat
Unless you have figured out how to blow me through the phone don't drunk dial me.
For Halloween this year I'm going to paint myself in gold, wear a golden toga and sash saying " cunt goddess"
Being a slave to ur dick is exhausting.
The laundromat is nothing like In the pornos
The shitshow that was last night is the gift that just keeps on giving
Humming the Indiana Jones theme song as my hand makes its way to his dick.
I'd still fuck that
You'd fuck a dead moose
Quite possible
if I was a good friend this would be the time that i would remind you that you have a boyfriend
Randomize
