just found out there is no tactful way to ask your girlfriend to wax her stache. no matter what a google search would have you believe.
walk of shame with early morning football tailgaters. niice.
Every single piece. I examined every single square inch of this peanut butter and jelly sandwich. and fell in love with every inch. that high.
just found a shoebox labled "emergency smoking box"... it has a lightbulb, 2 potatoes, a dried up flower, and a button that says "stop drop and roll". what did we do last night?!
apparently 20 random guys watched the process of me being carried on a mattress through the dorms
Um I just overheard that the new guy spent a month in jail. Obvi another great hire.
Don't look him in the eyes, it like looking at the sun but instead of burning your retinas it makes you wet and vulnerable
he literally referred to his penis as the alaskan bull worm from spongebob. when can we get married
I burned myself with a joint twice in one sitting I have to say that's a new record for the least number of times I have hurt myself while smoking.
At least they play good movies in the waiting room of the pregnancy resource center.
Sorry for yelling at you, I'm just really emotional about missing comicon.
The notary thing was a good idea. I can charge $2 per signature. I'm currently being paid in beer.
A picture of a damn cupcake brought back 3 fuckboys
I got a pots and pans set and a vibrator. Merry Crisis.
A massage should never include spaghetti sauce. shit was fucked up
Randomize
