Turns out "bordello" doesn't mean what I thought it did.
Sitting in class thinking wow im glad im not hungover...and then i realized im still drunk.
Is there a nice way of saying 'touch my penis or i dont really wanna hangout"?
You know what is really helpful - when the two guys you want to fuck stand next to each other. Stay tuned for who wins
I just found a pubic hair on my dick that wasn't mine.
All I can think about is getting a lawsuit and chocolate
You want to move to a city because of their promotional beer pricing
So?
This is why you shouldn't make decisions
i need to stop celebrating other people's birthdays like they are m own.. my body can't handle a birthday every week
I'm pretty sure "tag teaming" and "looking for stability" are not synonymous.
Not yet.
When this bachelor party is over and your life is in ruins, you have my permission to die.
I was drunk and really grossed out when you poured cheese on me and, I guess I just freaked out.
We need to get fucked up again and play games like "save the tequila but dodge the knife"
Ran out of eye drops right after putting them in one eye. Half baked at work.
Finding out you're not a mother on Mother's Day >>>
I'll pick u up. I have to buy a new sofa cover anyway. I swear I've never seem a girl cum like that before.
Randomize
