Midget sex pt 2 tonight
he sent her a picture of his penis to show that he "trusts her" or some shit like that..well she showed it to me, and let me just tell you..it looked like a freaking slug or something. creepiest penis i've ever seen. hands down
since i spend so many of my nights sleeping on the bathroom floor i think im going to remove all toiletries from under my sink and replace them with a pillow and blanket.
i lose more brain cells when ever she opens her mouth then i would doing meth for 8 years of my life.
the general consensus of people in the room is that i should have another bottle of wine.
"people in the room" being me.
I don't care how many kiddie pools are in our house. One is too many.
There is nacho cheese and blood everywhere.
I think its pretty common. 1 out of every 4 people probably have a stripper's phone # in their phone.
I just learned my tits were fire resistant. I should join the freakin circus
So are you actually going to come fuck me in the ass this weekend, or was that just you being drunk in a kilt?
We got to his house at 7am and two random guys were on the couch shot gunning beers saying we were late for the party
you told the taxi driver your yeast infection was so bad you wanted to F a popsicle
You know your horny when you have a sex dream about Ace Ventura, if your wondering he's awful
If it makes u feel any better my dick feels pretty tender dude
When the nurses wouldn't let him smoke in the hospital he decided to just roll around on the floor.
Randomize
