curled up in a ball on my bed listening to my "cuddle with a boy" playlist. prettty high.
Either allow it in a formal toast or i will drunkenly tell your in-laws while i'm dancing on their table. either way, the truth is coming out
It's safe to say that our attempt at trying to fuck in the grand Sierra elevator was a bad idea.
Did I crawl through the hotel lobby all the way to our room?
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He came to my house drunk at two a.m., got in the hot tub, refused to get out until he smoked a blunt, and said "That's what brothers and sisters are for."
Someone painted a weed leaf on my leg with red paint. Or blood. I hope paint.
Holy fuck just found a used tampon in the leg of my pants. it's not paint. It's. Not. Paint.
I can HEAR him staring at your boobs.
We found her on the balcony debating if it was easier to jump or throw up. Neither decision would not have been good for the 91 year old below us.
The squirrels are partying on my roof again. Now they're just rubbing it in that I'm home alone on a Saturday night and they're having orgies.
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Abort mission; I repeat: Abort mission.I found an attractive one.
Great sex, the promise of us mixing our excellent genetics in the future, and access to drugs are mainly what's holding this relationship together at the moment
He sent me a text from across the party that said "your sexy." I just couldn't.
I actually had to apologize for "being too aggressive about harry potter"
How is it that I can make it to my 8am Friday morning still drunk after passing out the night before...but not to my 9am on Tuesday that I went to bed early for? Irony or karma?
Nothing says girls night like wine cheese and pregnancy tests 😂
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