She ordered a salad and a budweiser. I love her.
angela screamed across the room SHES A CHAMP when i told the pharmacist plan b doesnt make me throw up
well he showed me a naked baby picture and i was right it hasn't grown
She was drinking straight whiskey out of her peacock shaped vase again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She says she'll teach me how to make her squirt tonight so yea, I'm bailing again. I'm not sayin sorry since you don't have a better offer.
VODKA 4LOKO BEER NOT IN THE CLEAR
Hey. Me and my buddy are drunk. you wanna give us tattoos of the hawaiian punch guy we shall pay very well. Seriously dude. no bull shit.
You asked me to text you at 11 and remind you that he's 33. It's 11:20. He's 33.
you're too late. he has eggnog and whiskey and all seven seasons of buffy. I shan't be coming home tonight
Lets now bow our heads and think of girls with ex boyfriends who were great at fingering them. That's so sad.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
On a better note: I'm on pace for 730 female produced orgasms in 2013.
Steve watched craig and I have sex from the top level of his cat tower this morning.
Dude so help me god I WILL weigh a penis one day
I know he's only a bandaid for my emotional disrepair, but he can stick me anytime!!
i'm eating chex mix in the shower while texting. i feel accomplished.
thats all i want out of life, to get high and watch weiner dog races
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