Please advise as to how precisely ashamed I should be if I just became sexually aroused by a Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince preview
and thats how i got kicked in the balls by micky mouse
So, after having sex with my 4th overweight girl in 2 weeks, I've decided Charlie Sheen syndrome is ruining my life.
You NEED to get fingered by a violinist. He used his left hand and make me cum, he's RIGHT handed.
I was desperate so I downed my birth control with balsamic vinaigrette...
dude just did a line with screech. dude is fucking creepy
We can add pilot to the list of people who's lives I've changed...with my penis.
After you verbally abused the McDonalds employee for not making your fries fast enough, the fact that you woke up on a random lawn does not surprise me.
If we ever start off with margaritas for breakfast and end up naked covered in olive oil...I could think of worse ways to spend a day.
I've decided that my night was probably over when I started eating the penne vodka with my hands.
We were talking when all of a sudden she reach and started squeezing my dick and goes "nice." and then just kept the conversation going like nothing happened.
Reminder: You could have had sex with me while wearing a tiara.
Well, my mom found the ball gag and whip. Looks like I'm never going home again.
He was walking around and kept offering the neighbors flamingo lawn ornaments shots of vodka.
And with the bitter taste of failure in my mouth, i am off to pub to drown it in tequila and 19 year olds, so in the morning i can add pregnancy and stds to my list of problems.
Randomize
