Could a canary swim?
Last time I ever let you pet sit.
ok please explain why some one shaved half of my pubes?
I thought about farting is his face when he was going down on me last nite.
I was going to text him and apologize but I didn't want him to think that meant I approved of him being my niece's booty call.
No we just stood in the kitchen and laughed for 2 hours about how funny the popcorn noise was.
You looked at my sister and yelled at her saying in a couple of years she will be yours
You can wear my underwear. It'll be like old times.
Come over. We're getting stoned and watching DogTV
It wasn't your birthday, you weren't supposed to be the drunk one
When people keep buying you drinks at the bar because they like you, you can't say no to them
strip teases shouldnt end with an expensive car covered in salsa and mayonnaise yet here we are
She bruised my penis again. But, trooper I am we kept on going.
If my one night stand asked me to move in with him right after does it still count as a one nighter?
Remember that gum I swallowed 3 days ago? I just threw it up.... whole.
Working from home has been great for my sex life! A few of my neighbors are in open marriages and several more wish they were!!!
If work found out I was using THEIR paper to write Karate Kid fanfic I'd never hear the end of it.
Randomize
