Bitch is talking to much, howd u ever get her 2 shut up?
It's worth it.
How worth it?
Back door worth it
I feel like death. And death is wearing a fleece blanket as a dress. And is seriously contemplating wearing this to go get something to eat.
i'm in his bathroom *freshening up* and he not only has a hairdryer... but a straightener. get me out of here... NOW
You know your in college when you decide house chores with games of beer pong...
she said if she won the lottery she'd fuck me... isn't that like government funded prostitution?
She wants out first dance to be to 98 degrees i do cherish you...remember how i said we didn't need open bar....
Two girls are doing the worm relatively well on the bar floor after the fact I just saw one puke in the trash
had my ear almost bitten off in foreplay. the sex gods do not like me.
I literally just wielded a katana to save a child's life. What did you do today?
I drink way too much to have a type. Last weekend I picked up a guy who calls me "baby girl"
So our 'date' consisted of getting drunk off champagne at four and photo-bombing the shit out of tourist's pictures all over the city. Thoughts?
Well I'm drunk and covered in baby oil so tonights not ideal
Me and a 30 year old man are sitting in my bathtub in swimsuits drinking straight rum from the bottle. Don't tell me how fucked up your Christmas is.
Some lady found my secret pooping bathroom at work. Do I fight her Highlander style? I made or may not be fashioning a crude sword from seat covers and toilet paper rolls.
Do it. DO IT. There can be only one.
I'm listening to a women in metal station and wearing a flannel. I may have approached peak lesbian.
Randomize
