You don't need id to drink rum in an alley.
No, that was before the police came, but after the hooker.
he asked me to put his condom on because he couldn't see without his glasses
Superbowl and Mardi Gras a week apart. World's longest bender here I come.
I really wanna talk..
if by talk you mean have nasty makeup sex involving marshmellow fluff.. I'm down
I didn't exactley write on my bucket list -- "hook up with a townie at a drivers intervention program"
I drank myself into bisexuality again.
I just saw her take the entire bowl of lime wedges from the bar and pour them all in her purse, and now using the empty bowl as a hat. Waiting for security to come and throw her ass out.
I'm proud of you, you were pretty classy last night, you didn't puke AND you didn't take off your shirt, except for those two times in the corner.
I just realized that in 3 weeks it becomes sad if I make everything into a drinking game. Fuck growing up
Well, if it gives you any indication, when I got there, there was already some dude passed out naked in the treehouse.
Oh and Dustin informs me I'm a legend amongst the freshman, if you were wondering about my street cred
Just walked by the barren window naked in a family neighborhood. Who needs dignity.
Why can't you just come over, fuck me, then leave so i can get stoned and watch law and order?
Man, I miss taking bong rips in my room. Now they are bringing dogs around so all my stuff is hidden in random places up in the woods. I literaly have to hunt and gather just to get high.
Randomize
